I was recently asked the question, “So how do you like being a pastor’s wife?” My reply, “It wouldn’t have been what I chose for myself but it is what God chose for me.” I could pretend it’s all wonderful but honestly, it’s really hard. I don’t hear a lot of honesty on this subject and at first I thought I was the only one who felt this way. You see, for some reason we are not supposed to talk about the difficulties we face. I happen to think it’s time to be honest. If people don’t know what hurts you and why it hurts you, how can they know to do better?
I’ll begin by saying that coming into and then accomplishing anything in a church where the former pastor was there for 30 years sometimes seems like an impossible task. The new pastor comes in with the idea that the church wants to see changes due to the fact that it has seen a decline in the previous years. But he soon finds out that this decline needs to be turned around but it must be done without any changes. He also soon finds out that Satan’s opposition isn’t necessary because the members will provide plenty of that. Any ideas he has are quickly halted by those who feel it can only be done the “way it’s always been done.”
My intention is not to be hurtful but just to be honest. When we spend a great deal of our time fighting against the grumbling and complaining that trickle through the church, it’s becomes exhausting. It begins to feel as though we are walking on treadmill. Like we are working, working, working and getting no where.
All I’m saying is, give the guy a chance. At some point just let go and give him a chance. You might be surprised at what God can do through him if you do. I am so thankful for those who choose to be an encouragement to us as the pastors family. Believe me, we need it. Those encouragers make it worth it. You know who you are. You have been a lifeline for me. You are being used by God in a way you might not realize. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone was? Which one are you?
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